We all strive to be the best version of ourselves when it comes to parenting, but the question is how to raise our kids in the right way? What parenting techniques should we follow? How to balance our child at every stage and age of his/her life?
During the pandemic, the task of parenting became more arduous. Juggling between duties and liabilities while dealing with children within those four walls drained us as a parent. Besides, the level of stress and mental depression a parent went through was exhausting to imagine.
We, as a parent, do things a certain way, yet, somehow, things don’t fall in place, and we assume that either we failed as a parent or our child. Let me tell you one thing, there is absolutely no one right way to raise a child. You may sense things going out of your control, or you have compromised your mental peace, it is best to consult an expert and seek parenting counseling.
Ways of modern-day parenting:
As I said earlier, there is no right way of parenting, but everyone can improve their existing ones. Firstly, you have to make sure you do not listen and follow every piece of advice that comes your way; each child is different, and so are the ways to deal with him. Perhaps, it will be fitting to consult a specialist in the form of a parenting counselor.
There are standard parenting styles in psychology, backed by research and knowledge, that can be your algorithm to raise your child effortlessly without losing yourself in the process.
not fear but respect
Seven modern-day things that parents must inculcate in their parenting:
Respect, not Fear
For ages, we have been kept under the impression that the right way to parenting is to keep our children under the stick to make them disciplined and obedient. However, on the contrary, research suggests that if you want to raise a self-reliant and high self-esteem child, it is better to be authoritative than authoritarian. If you want your child to listen, trust and respect you rather than fear you, you have to be supportive and not a spy parent, hovering them everywhere.
Let your child fall and rise
Let your child learn through experience, let him fall, and get up on his own. Your child needs to understand that to build confidence, one needs to tackle challenges right from a very young age. Standardize your expectations around what your child is capable of doing autonomously, whether you have an infant learning to sleep through the night, a toddler helping with putting his toys away, or an older child dealing with conflicts.
Teach not Preach
Set an example of how you want your child to behave. You can not just instruct them to behave or do things a certain way when you yourself are not following it. Children learn from their actions and not from your instructions.
However, they do listen to you if you are constructive in your actions towards their growth. If you back it with the right reason, the chances are they will listen to you more intently than when you are preachy. Besides, mostly, they learn from their parents. If you will operate social media and spend time on Netflix, they will, likely, pick up the same habit. You cannot expect your child to develop a reading habit when you are not even touching the books.
Appraise and Acknowledge
The most common blunder we do as a parent is not praising our children as much as we should. Instead, we end up comparing them with others. We never let them walk away with their mistakes; we, at times, overlook their achievements.
It is good to point out their flaws but it is even better to acknowledge and appreciate their achievements. This not only encourages them but also acts as a driving force to perform better. When your child does something good or achieves even little things in life rewarding them with gifts, or certain things they demanded, is a great way of letting them know that you care and love them. It also makes them realize that they have to earn things in life and nothing comes for free.
Induce Moral Values and Humanity
In the struggle to make our children engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc we forget to make them better human beings. Right from a tender age, it is important to induce morality and virtues of being a good human in your child. Teach your child basic virtues like honesty, integrity, loyalty, gratitude, etc. This will not only ensure he become a better person but also learn to respect family members and become more sensitive and loving towards other people around him.
Participate in their life
In today’s busy times, it’s very common to see parents not giving enough time to their children. Somewhere in shaping the needs of the family they often forget to be a family. This creates a communication gap between the two generations and gradually your child stops sharing things with you anymore. Be active in his/her life attend PTMs at school, help him in projects, go for outings, discuss how his day went, these small acts strengthen the bond.
Take time for yourself
Yes, you read that right! Parenting doesn’t mean that you have to put end to your personal life and just see yourself as a parent and nothing else. Most people make this mistake and get caught in this vicious cycle where they take out no time for their recreation and it majorly affects parent’s mental health which leads to anger, depression, irritability, etc.
Final words
In all the above cases if you still feel that things are falling apart parenting is bringing a toll on your physical and mental health, it is best to seek parenting counseling. However, if you feel that there is a crunch of time, we can meet up over a normal call!
As a parent and psychiatrist, I have dealt with many parents who faced issues with parenting and had issues with deteriorating mental health and have helped them ease out the tension and establish happiness. If you feel you need any help related to parenting, remember we are in this together and I would happily be there to help you all.
